Pretend They're Talking: Episode 1-3

"POPCORN! Getcher popcorn! Fresh 'n hot! Special Rainbowville popcorn!"

and from close by she hears...

"I'll take one pleez!"

"Holy horseshoes that pony is loud...almost sounds like it's a..."

"HUGE MONSTROUS PONY!!!!!"

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Rainbowville prides itself in having some of the scariest thrill rides around. Not necessarily the safest, mind you, but before the pony's head hits the pavement, boy, it was having a great time! A team of flimflam bunnies speeds from the shadows to clean the blood off the midway before many ponies can see and then it's business as usual. Those that did view the accident are given offers they can't refuse. They had just proudly unveiled a new roller coaster and hadn't counted on the massive draw the attraction would be. Ponies from every corner of the land were rushing the gates, causing the bunnies to go into fits of glee as the cash registers sang out from the opening of the gates until almost the very end of the night....

"WHEEEE!!!!! Ooooh WOOHOO!!!!"

The lines just kept building every day as news of how much fun the new coaster was spread. Waits were reaching insane amounts but did the bunnies care? Why even ask that question? And of course they were waiting for the ponies at the end of the ride...

"Buy ooo on-ride foto! Ooo is lame if oo don't! On-ride fotos right hewe! Hey oo, don't be a lewsoo, come buy oo foto! If oo can't affowd it oo poow!"

"That isn't even me!"

"Yes it is! Oo blind or somethin'?"

"That pony is purple!"

"No dat just oo lowsy eyes! It oo! Now come buy it or oo worfless!"

Because this ride was so extreme they had to show a molecule of safety concern for their victim base. A height requirement was set. This lead to a lot of tears....

"Mommy! Mommy! I wanna ride th' new coaster! Pleeeeeeeeze?!"

"Okay, sweetie! I see the height sign over there so go stand by it, honeyhoof."

"Oh dear, cutie, it looks like...."

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!"

Bunnies don't care about the tears. Sad kids equal parents willing to buy their foals any overpriced junk the park's stores have to offer just to quell the tides of woe from their offspring.

Everyone who trots in the gates wants to ride. But the guests are often unprepared to face the reality of a ride with a capacity of twenty ponies an hour....

"Oooh! Let's go ride the new coaster! I wonder how long the line is?"

"Good idea, babes! It prob'ly isn't that long, y'know, 'cuz all these new rides, they just crank dem ponies through like gangbustas. Let's go check dat thing out!"

"Look, babes! It ain't dat long! We gotta do it!"

"Oooh yay! It looks like it ends by that orange pony!"

"SHAKIN' SUGARCUBES! Ain't no way I gettin' in dat line!"

"It just keeps going! I can't even see the end of it, honey! How is anypony getting in that line?!"

Oh, they were getting in line. Tons of ponies were. And the mood in that line was grim...

"Hey, man, how long we been in this stinking line? It seems like forever and my freakin' hooves hurt from all this standing. Did you guys see that sign coming up? Wonder what it says. Hope it says 'You're almost there' or I'm gonna lose it."

"WHAT?!"

Still in a state of shock over what the sign said, the Fakies were startled by a squeaky voice behind them...

"Excoose me! Big fake pony! Yah, oo!"

"WHAT YOU WANT WITH BIG PONY?"

"Excoose me but oo must leave da line. Oo is too fat to ride da coastoo."

"WHAT?"

"Ooo is too fat. Oo is blob pony. Oo not fit on da coastoo. Stop hoggies up da line for the slim ponies. Go has a salad at one of bunny fine rebberants."

"BIG PONY TOO FAT AND THAT PONY NOT?"

"Life is tuff. I say oo fat. Ooo get out of da line or my fwiend hewe give oo fast wait loss throo losing a leggie."

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Elsewhere in the park....

"I have an idea. Let's go find some of the baby ponies working on rides and tell them we're going to help. We told the ones in the holding pen already and who knows when...or if...they'll get a chance to tell the others."

"Brilliant!"

"How about that little waif over there to start?"

"She looks so sad. Such a precious little thing shouldn't be suffering like this!"

"Pssst....hey sweetie...hey...we're here to help. We know about the others."

A pathetic little whisper came from the baby...

"Rwelly?"

"Yes, baby! You don't deserve to live in fear and we know you all are! Your friends told us everything."

"You know what? To the manure pile with waiting! We can sneak you out now. We'll keep coming back for the rest. They couldn't possibly...."

"WHAT'S GOING ON OVER HERE?"

"Listen, you big bully! We know what you're doing here and you're not going to get away with it! You make these babies act like they're happy and they're miserable. Maybe even dying!"

"All you bunnies are monsters!"

"I have no idea what you're talking about. All our workers are HAPPY."