It's St. Paddy's Day! Do you know where your ponies are?
See, bunnies like to bring chaos and then hop away before anyone figures out who's to blame. Probably the worst of all when it comes to this are the "4 You" bunnies. They bring Pixy Stix to the foal daycare. Giant batches of cupcakes to the Pony Pound Pals weight loss meeting. Reams of catalogs dropped off at the door of a pony trying to save up her money. "SHOPPING 4 YOUUUUUU!" They couch it as a "service" or "just providing things ponies want" but c'mon! Anyone with two brain cells to rub together knows they are cackling their little bunny "HEEEEEEEHHHHH!!!" under their breath as they roll their carts away.
Worst of all, oh, just the most heinous of the bunch, are the "Booze 4 You" bunnies. Everyone knows that all it takes is a couple sips of Pale Oat Ale to send a pony reeling. They all avoid it like the plague. High-class ponies have a sip of very expensive vintage red wine during a special occasion....maybe. But the B4Y bunnies know if they play their cards right, they can start a party legends are made of and watch the ensuing pandemonium with glee....
"We are going to have such a classy St. Patrick's party! Green oat cakes by the pool, classic Irish tunes, and lots of good company! I love your bow, by the way."
"Oh, I know darling! Isn't it fabulous? I love St. Patrick's Day and we're going to have a party nopony will forget!"
"I invited the most civilized ponies, too. Witty, intelligent, and just so classy. Sigh! It's going to be such a delightful evening, my dear!"
The ponies began to arrive. They anticipated a night filled with the most civilized of entertainment. Perhaps they'd discuss the finer details of imported Irish hay. Debate over their favorite Irish artists. There might even be a rousing band of Irish ponies with blazing red hair playing traditional music...
It was not to be.
Stationed outside the palatial estate was a dreaded Booze 4 You bunny and crew. They knew they had the perfect venue targeted for maximum bedlam.
"Okay, now dis shood be easy. Chokkolat Bunny alreddy peeked in da windows and it looks like da perfekt cwowd. Just take dis glass full of gween Hay Ale to da door and dey'll come to oo. Ponees can't reesisst festive tings. HEEEEEEEEH!"
"I even found oo a dakkory baw! De ponees come up and drinkies and it wefills um...aud....audi...audimatikullies!"
Sure enough, when the bunnies lugged up the green-tinted liquid the ponies became fascinated. They all crowded around the gate cautiously, already thinking, Well, a little bit won't hurt! The other party host was coming around the corner after checking on how crowded the valet parking lot was. Gasp! Uncivilized! She hid behind an outer wall and tried to think of what to do....
"BOOZE 4 YOUUUUUUUUU! COME GET YOUR BOOZIES!"
"NO! NOT HERE! This is a classy party! Go away, dreadful bunnies! We don't want your uncivilized offerings!"
Think the bunnies went away?
"PARTY! PARTY! PARTY!"
"No! The pool capacity is strictly three ponies! There are too many of you in there! You must vacate the pool immediately!"
"Y'know, hic you'd be a lot more fun if you hic loosenenened up!"
"Dreadful! Get that umbrella off of your horn! Have you no shame?!"
"Look! I'm Lady NeighNeigh! CAN'T READ MY, CAN'T READ MY NOOO HE CAN'T READ MY POOOOOKER FACE! PPPPPPPOKER FACE MUMMUMUMUMUMUMMM! PO-KER-FAAAAAAAACE!"
"Horrid! Putrid! Remove yourself from that chair! I am not paying for your vet bills if you fall!"
"DON'T CALL MY NAME, ALEJANDROOOOOOOO!"
"You too?! For shame! You drank all my oatmilk!"
"Issssssss hun. Gryyy. Urp!"
"MY COUCH! MY CHAIR!"
"DOWN WITH THE ESTABLISHMENT!"
"I'M THE KING OF THE WORRRRRRRRRLD!"
"I think thish place is leaning, and schtuff...."
"I tink our jobbie hewe is done, Chokkolat Bunny! HEEEEEEEEEEH!"
It's a fine day to be Irish and I'm glad I am...so Happy St. Patrick's Day! Luck of the Irish to you and be safe tonight! If you see the B4Y bunnies coming, run the other way!