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Monday, February 14, 2011

Episode 1-6

Back at Rainbowville, the three Fakie friends were steaming over the way they were treated at the park. "Big pony" was found wandering the park muttering to himself after the other two Fakies had been on the roller coaster. As you might recall, the two head honcho bunnies had removed him from line for being too fat to ride, despite a cargo-sized foal behind him escaping the same fate. Some knocked over trash cans and random inappropriately placed muffins might have been attributed to the big Fakie's ire. Now reunited, the three had nothing left to hold back the tidal wave of rage they were feeling. Even the little pathetic Fakie was feeling the blood rushing to her muzzle.


"You're right, you guys! This day was unbelievable! You come here to have a good time and get treated like the manure on the bottom of their hooves!"
"Ugh! Semantics! I wasn't saying it was ponies, it was just a figure of...."
"Will you two can it? We need to do something about this. I see a building over there that might be customer service."

"Now that is a big door."
"It's where we go to get people FIRED! That's what it is, friends, and that's what we're going to do!"

"Who goes dere?"

"What kind of crap is this? This ain't Camelot! We need to get in! We have to report some bad stuff!"
"Onlee if oo say da majik woord."
The Fakies muttered amongst themselves...
"Dat not it."
Mushroom butt pony was seeing stars. The rage was incalculable.
"Look, we're not mind readers. Tell us and we'll just say it."
"'Bummies is da best anamals evoo."
"Are you serious?!"
"Dat not it."
"That isn't even just a word! It's six words!"
"Dat not it."
"Fine! 'Bunnies are the best animals ever'."
"Dat it! Tank oo! Watch oo step as oo enter da kassle!"

A drawbridge started to slowly creak. After that little toe-to-toe with the Gatekeeper up there, the Fakies were ready to lay the hurt on. Horseshoes were going to fly.

And then they saw the staff behind the service desk. Uh oh. These didn't look like reasonable bunnies (if those even existed)....
 "Wat da heck do oo want? Pbtbtbtbtbtbt!"
Next to this rude bunny that stuck his tongue out at the end of everything he said was a bunny that appeared to be asleep standing up. Maybe she just had a long night. But more likely was that it was just another bunny that didn't give a hoot about anyone....

"Look, man, we had a bad day here. We paid just like every pony else to get in, spent money on funnel oats and cotton hay candy. We're not no second-class ponies. And two of these bunny goons kicked my big friend out here for being 'too fat' when a foal behind us the size of the Goodpony Blimp got to ride. That's a load of pony apples! We want something done about this!"
"Getting rwid of bad guest is diskreshun of da park manidgemint! Pbtbtbtbtbtbt!"
 The little Fakie was appalled.  "Bad guests?! How is he a bad guest?! I want to speak to your manager!"
"Manager aseep as oo can see. I not wake up. Pbtbtbtbtbtbt!"

"Dat manager aseep too. In fact I nebber seen dat one awake ebber. Pbtbtbtbtbtbt!"

"I sowwies but we just don't cawe. Go take a long walkies off a short cliffies. Pbtbtbtbtbtbt!"

Mushroom butt Fakie couldn't believe her ears. Her hair actually stood on end she was so full of umbrage.

"You made a grave mistake, mister! Us Fakies are up to here with you bunnies and the manure is going to hit the fan!"
"Do oo twuly tink I cawe? Pbtbtbtbtbtbt!"

"Do oo tink my manager cawes? Pbtbtbtbtbtbt!"

"Do oo tink I gonna jump throo hoops for oo? Pbtbtbtbtbt!"

"I don't cawe if oo leeve hewe and get sent to da glue faccy. Pbtbtbtbtbt! Why wood I cawe if oo happy or not? Besides, we just want oo monee...."

"We got famblees to feeds. Why don't oo tink of da childrun?"

"This is it. C'mon.....we're going to take them down."

The Fakies burst out of the castle at a high rate of speed. They'd heard the chatter...a revolution was in store. Now they understood why and they were going to make sure they were a part of it....

Galloping out of the park with the rest of the day's crowd, the Fakies quietly discussed what they knew about the revolt that was fomenting....
  "Some rear end is going to get kicked, let me tell you.  As soon as we find the rest of the herd I'm sending out feelers, 'cuz I wanna be on the front lines of this!"
"I just need someone to sit the kids, but I'm right there with you! Things need to be made better for them more so than us. They're going to have no future with the bunnies around!"

Speaking of the kids, the little Fakie had enjoyed her day off but was starting to miss her foals. They rounded a corner to find a Fakie who played babysitter for her waiting with her herd...
"Kids! I missed you!"
Little whinnies of happiness came up from the ragtag group. As they started to gallop forward to greet Mom, a familiar voice sullied the air....

"Well, well, well, if it isn't that stable-trash beat out mare. Don't you see how gross you are? How uncute, how unlovable?"

"You're a disgrace. You're so poor you don't have two bits to rub together, but you have this giant herd of yucky, dirty foals. Why don't you stop having them? They're going to be nothing but sent to the glue factory, because they're useless with a foal machine like you for a mom!"

Silence came over all in the vicinity. This was a vicious attack and even the mean pony's friends knew it. They gulped and took a couple steps back, expecting the Fakie's friends to come flying with hooves in the air. But no one dared to move or speak. Finally, the little Fakie broke the silence...

"None of them are actually mine. I love them like they're mine though. They're all the foals of Fakies that died because they didn't have enough to eat. Or died of exposure because they had nowhere warm to live and were already ill. I want the foals to at least have a chance, so I keep taking them in. Some of them I found wandering the streets after their mothers died and none of you real ponies would help. They are so close to dying themselves when I find them that..sometimes...sometimes...I...I try...but I can't save them.  Are you happy now, you &*^%$?"

Absolute. Utter. Silence. The foals gathered around their mom and the rest of the Fakies knew to just let it go. The bomb had been dropped. Even the evil pony couldn't muster a response to that. But her friends couldn't contain themselves....

"HA! PWNED!!!!!!!!"


  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

  2. I did NOT see the part about the fakie explaining all the foals coming. Pwned is right! lol

  3. Glad you guys like! The Fakies will be hitting the road in search of justice, so we've seen the last of Rainbowville for a while. And for those that know what I mean...IDEA PONY is about to be introduced!

  4. I finally got a chance to read this... Go Fakies! I sense a revolution. :) I wonder if Little Fakie was telling the truth, though? She seems like a good pony so she probably was, perhaps I'm just cynical... :P

  5. Hehe! I'm guessing a lot of people are pulling for the Fakies. They have a long way to go yet but they're pretty plucky ponies. The "foster mom" Fakie is generally known to be a nice fact, a bit too nice. It was a big deal she stood up for herself! I wouldn't expect her to lie. :)