MY LITTLE TRONY: Into The Paddock

SORRY GUYS! MLT is on hold until I figure out a way to do Part 3 because my original plans got shot down. Thankfully I know a lot of people good with Photoshop!

Pigskynn was no ordinary jock. Once a National Football Herd star, he was hiding a secret side of himself. Under that rough exterior lived a genius....a computer genius. Although he found incredible success as a quarterback, he retired early with no word on why to the press, his team, or his fans. The truth was he wanted to get back to what he was even better at than football: hacking.

He was never one for luxury. He spent his cash on upgrading his laptop to insane proportions. To keep his alter ego hidden, he chose a modest stable, didn't care much for making the place anything fitting of a multimillionaire stallion, and kept a lot of outdated electronics around. Even his laptop was in disguise; instead of a shiny, futuristic looking machine, he used old, beat-up, and ugly laptop shells and then pumped them full of so much power that if they were cars, they're be heading down the strip at 320 MPH. Nobody thought twice about the pea green laptop kicking around under his old school CRT television. After all, the guy still had a record player for pony's sake! "Geeze, Piggy, you still use floppies in that hunk of junk?"

A VCR? A tape player boom box? A Sega Genesis?! Pigskynn came across as more of a die-hard Luddite than anyone who had the computer know-how to hack into every pony bank in the world. Ever heard of the Day of the Backwards Pony Debit Card? The day where all ponies had $100 bucks deposited into their bank account randomly, followed by emails that said it was courtesy of the bank and that they signed away any right to ask for the money back? Guess who was behind that. On Christmas day, he loves to slice through credit card account security and randomly delete all information from a couple ponies' accounts. Merry Christmas! You have no more debt and there's no way the credit card companies can even find your account! Needless to say, Fight Club (on video tape, of course) is a favorite movie of his. The Matrix is almost a comedy to him. Someone controls us? Ha! "Hackers control the world, and I'm the top stallion of them all, baby. I control the controllers."

His fiery girlfriend, Mingo, knew nothing of this side of her other pony half. Together for years, she was often frustrated by how behind the times Pigskynn seemed. No smart phones. No LCD TVs. The guy didn't even have a microwave; something about not trusting "modern weird stuff" like that. How did she manage to land the only NFH star who refused to live a "Stallz" lifestyle? He was generous to her, but after watching other pony sports stars flaunt their 5-story stables, pony pools, and fleets of Horsley-Bridleson motorcycles, she couldn't help but feel like she got the short end of the hay. Mingo loved to shop, and thankfully for her, Pigskynn indulged her often. There was just one thing he couldn't stand: Mingo's addiction to stable shopping channels.

"Watching that barf again?!"

"Piggy, you just leave me alone! The Daily Blowout is a hoof polish set you can't even get anywhere else!"

"Baby, I love you, but I can't stand no more of that trash. Lonely old mares calling in to buy jumps. They ain't jumped in years and if they did they'd fall on their faces! And those high-pitched twits selling it to them like it ain't no problem."

"Listen here! I've had it with you living your Amish lifestyle and living in this...this...SHACK. Don't you have any pride? And you have the gall to criticize me for buying stuff off PSN?! At least I'm living in 2011 instead of 1989 like you! I'm surprised I can even order from here, because I'd expect you to have a rotary dial phone! I'm embarrassed to tell my fillies where you live. They wouldn't believe me first and then they'd have a heart attack when I told them it was true!"

"You have no idea. No idea. NO IDEA AT ALL OF WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT! You know, I haven't told you this, but I got another side, Min. I don't think you'd muffin all over me if

you...."

"You can take your...whatever your "other side" is...and shove it. I'm going home, where my television wasn't made when Ronald Reingan was still president!"

"Fine! Go! PSN is more important to you than me!"

Pigskynn was furious. He knew Mingo was high-strung and, well, a bit materialistic, but this was too much. So PSN was that important? For a minute, he thought he'd be crossing a line if he did something to Mingo's beloved shopping channel. And then he thought of what she said to him, not to mention how much money PSN would lose if he scrambled their broadcast so badly it would take weeks to fix and toasted any hope of their ordering systems functioning normally.

Time to fry some servers.

"You're the only critter that understands me, old boy. At least I got you. I don't think the cat likes me much either 'cuz she sleeps all the time and ignores me when I'm awake. We're gonna show 'em now, buddy."

 

"Lessee here...okay, into their ordering system. Oops! Lookit that! How they gonna handle ten thousand automated orders clogging their system every minute? So just call on the phones? Gee, too bad they put 'em through their 'net lines. Some big, bad hackers might come to get them someday!"

Pigskynn was a formidable foe if he decided to take you down. Within just minutes, he knew he had put PSN on full stop. He kept picturing the sales ponies galloping around trying to stop all the automated orders while the tech ponies bucked holes into the walls out of frustration and rage. Oh darn, now some nice elderly pony couldn't waste half her life savings on their plastic crap!

"We're experiencing some technical difficulties, shoppers, so things might take, ah, a little longer than usual to order. But please bear with us as we...."

"Oh you ain't seen nuthin' yet, you piles of soaked, stinky hay. I'm gonna take you down now."

He turned to his computer and hit the Enter key. And with that, PSN fell down a deep electronic hole they wouldn't come out of anytime soon. His final keystroke obliterated their satellite feed and jammed their system so badly they had no hope of recovering unless someone as skilled as he was with computers could step in to help. Good luck with that!

"Well, well, lookie that. The signal goes flushy McFlusherson like the horse pie it is. Gonna have to cancel those trips to the Ponibbean now, won'tcha?"

But Pigskynn didn't notice the buzzing sound coming from near him. He was too busy enjoying the glorious sound of static and scramble that was coming over PSN airwaves now.

 The sleeping kitty was suddenly awash with light. Her eyes turned a neon shade of shocking pink and began to glow. This cat-turned-supernova tilted her head slightly to aim directly at Pigskynn's head....

The noise now too high-pitched to be hidden by the TV's static, Pigskynn turned towards the din and was shocked to see two beams of light blast out of the cat's eyes. He started to rear up in effort to escape the beams but there was no hope; it all happened too fast. As the beams struck him, the world went 8-bit. He heard a robotic voice in the ether as life pixilated into nothingness....

"YOU HAVE ENTERED THE PADDOCK"

To Be Continued.....

Thank You to Aaron Wade for the SFX!