Lucky

Today was my 31st birthday. While I'm sure other '79 babies out there were lamenting another year into their thirties or turning 21 all over again, I was instead chomping at the bit for my big day because my wish list was crammed full of a lot of the toys you see on PTT. Also, 31 is a better number than 30. And I knew my obliging husband, who is just as quirky as me thank goodness, would be more than happy to have an excuse to buy toys! When it comes to him, though, the toy search doesn't usually go that well. He apparently is looking for toys that existed only on Io during the first Tuesday of the seventh month of odd-numbered years. I recently witnessed him tell a grizzled veteran vintage toy store owner "Never mind, I can't really describe it" when this gentleman asked him what he was looking for. No Ants In My Pants for him, no sir! Is it so rare that it's actually not physically possible for a human being to find it without the assistance of deep-sea-exploration robots? Yep, that's the one he's looking for!

My friends were no problem either. They were geeked out at the idea of a pal of theirs having a retro birthday party with My Little Pony and pastel-colored ice cream. I've figured out that most of them are friends with me as an excuse to get away from pretending to be interested in things normal people do. But when my Dad came around asking for what I wanted, I cringed a bit when I said "Uh....ponies?"

Would Dad go home, stare into the mirror, and wonder where he went wrong to raise a daughter that asked for PONIES for her thirty-something birthday?

Granted, he's used to it with me I'd figure. When I come around with a beat-up grocery bag from the thrift store and pour out my latest assortment of pathetic gewgaws and playthings, I don't get disapproval from him but a sense of "Well, good, she must be feeling well...if the day comes that she doesn't look at a half-moldy, decapitated oxen figurine and feel immediate need to 'rescue' it, I'll know we need to call 911." Let's face that our parents don't need to get or approve of what we do as adults, but it always feels nice to get a "Good job!" or "That's cool!" when it comes to our random passions, doesn't it?

My husband hit a home run this morning when he asked me to close my eyes and, upon opening them, my gaze fell upon a Rubbermaid container overflowing with ponies. He had heard me say "Man, it would be amazing to just come across a huge tub of ponies or something sometime!" I knew it happened to collectors but it was about as rare as a hamster that runs a hot dog vending cart in a tourist town. So instead he made it happen in a different way. He never ceases to amaze me when it comes to the diligence and thought he'll put into my gifts when they often take these very specific paths. He won't just give you an Elvis CD collection, he'll somehow find a way to shove electrodes up Elvis's tailpipe and get the King himself to sign one last autograph from the beyond. See why I married him?

So Dad came over tonight with some ponies my husband helped him to get on eBay. I wasn't expecting anything else nor would I have been sad had he just handed me a plastic bag and said "Here. Ponies." This is not man's territory and I give my husband and Dad credit for even going there into a world of ponies that poop rainbows. Instead, he walks in with some garbage bags which he began ripping open. Out pours a bunch of candy-colored balloons with ponies on them that he blew up himself. He grins and says he needs to go to the car for something else.

(He also brought me an adorable card that features a kitten singing "Happy Birthday" which was "signed" by my two cats. My two cats would actually rather soil my clean clothes, sit on my head when they want me to wake up, and stick their paws into my food when I'm not looking than get their beloved Mama a card, so Dad even managed to see good in two incorrigible brats.)

Comes back in bearing a cake. Not just any cake, but a cake in pony-esque colors and one that had My Little Pony decals on it. Not sure if he put the decals on himself but I suspected it which makes it all the more mind blowing. This is a former Air Force Captain we're talking about here, not Mr. Rogers. Taped to the top is a little unicorn and a Pony "birthday girl" badge. Candles were provided, but not just any candles...they were the kind that burn in various colors rather than just your standard "Devil's Hellfire" shades. (I'm sure the Ponies would approve) He had then crafted little boxes to put my eBay finds in and wrapped them. When I finally opened the packages, I found that he had hunted for more Pony-themed birthday trinkets and put them in the box. When I unwrapped a Pony tablecloth, two of the Newborn ponies rolled out!

Color me shocked. (This color is a nice ombre of Pony Pink to Unicorn United Nations Blue)

The momentousness of these gestures grew in my mind as the evening passed. I know him enough to know he wouldn't have put two seconds of thought into something he didn't approve of. When Dad goes so far as to bring you a pink My Little Pony birthday badge that he bought himself rather than send a proxy female in to find, he must find some value in what you do. He doesn't have to get it or get into it with me, he just needs to know that little things mean a lot; it shows that he's listening and not going home to wonder if that time I rolled an occupied Hula-Coupe down the basement stairs didn't also lead to latent head injury. Besides, some of us have to be the keepers of things that make up childhood for kids of the 80s. His generation worships the '57 Chevy and The Mickey Mouse Club while mine just happens to get misty-eyed over My Little Ponies and Transformers.

So I'm just posting to say I'm lucky. Lucky to have been truly surprised and touched tonight by the thoughtful efforts my Dad put into my gifts and for understanding and appreciation of my interests that doesn't need to be said to be felt. Lucky to have a husband who appreciates someone who will never say "Just get me something useful, like a broom" and would probably take a train to Australia if that's what it took to find a special gift. I'm lucky. And I'm very appreciative of the love I was shown today.

Happy Halloween from PTT!

"Okay, kids! Now you two listen to your older sister while you trick or treat. Mommy's got to answer the door for other trick or treaters so whatever she says goes, you hear me? Just watch out for ghosts and other spooky things tonight!"

The kids look to the sky but big sis scoffs at them

"Please! Ghosts are foals' stories. Us big kids know better!"

One of the twins whispers "But...but, ghosts is real!"

LATER THAT NIGHT....

"Why are you sissies so worked up?! Still worried about those ghosts are we?"

In unison the twins yell "BUT GHOSTSES IS REAL!!!!"

"Give me a break! C'mon, hurry up, I got stuff to do later that isn't kid's stuff. I don't have time for you and your...."

"GHOST!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Run, run, you little stumpy-legged plugs!!!!!!"

Terrified but also slightly annoyed that big sis didn't listen to them a twin bellows "We told you, POOPYHEAD!"

"I just luv Hajjoween, lots of tweats for us, nuffin but tricks for dem! Now oo go down dere and get me those Speshoo Dawk baws does dum ponies dropped!"

Happy Halloween!

Episode 1-3

"POPCORN! Getcher popcorn! Fresh 'n hot! Special Rainbowville popcorn!"

and from close by she hears...

"I'll take one pleez!"

"Holy horseshoes that pony is loud...almost sounds like it's a..."

"HUGE MONSTROUS PONY!!!!!"

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Rainbowville prides itself in having some of the scariest thrill rides around. Not necessarily the safest, mind you, but before the pony's head hits the pavement, boy, it was having a great time! A team of flimflam bunnies speeds from the shadows to clean the blood off the midway before many ponies can see and then it's business as usual. Those that did view the accident are given offers they can't refuse. They had just proudly unveiled a new roller coaster and hadn't counted on the massive draw the attraction would be. Ponies from every corner of the land were rushing the gates, causing the bunnies to go into fits of glee as the cash registers sang out from the opening of the gates until almost the very end of the night....

"WHEEEE!!!!! Ooooh WOOHOO!!!!"

The lines just kept building every day as news of how much fun the new coaster was spread. Waits were reaching insane amounts but did the bunnies care? Why even ask that question? And of course they were waiting for the ponies at the end of the ride...

"Buy ooo on-ride foto! Ooo is lame if oo don't! On-ride fotos right hewe! Hey oo, don't be a lewsoo, come buy oo foto! If oo can't affowd it oo poow!"

"That isn't even me!"

"Yes it is! Oo blind or somethin'?"

"That pony is purple!"

"No dat just oo lowsy eyes! It oo! Now come buy it or oo worfless!"

Because this ride was so extreme they had to show a molecule of safety concern for their victim base. A height requirement was set. This lead to a lot of tears....

"Mommy! Mommy! I wanna ride th' new coaster! Pleeeeeeeeze?!"

"Okay, sweetie! I see the height sign over there so go stand by it, honeyhoof."

"Oh dear, cutie, it looks like...."

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!"

Bunnies don't care about the tears. Sad kids equal parents willing to buy their foals any overpriced junk the park's stores have to offer just to quell the tides of woe from their offspring.

Everyone who trots in the gates wants to ride. But the guests are often unprepared to face the reality of a ride with a capacity of twenty ponies an hour....

"Oooh! Let's go ride the new coaster! I wonder how long the line is?"

"Good idea, babes! It prob'ly isn't that long, y'know, 'cuz all these new rides, they just crank dem ponies through like gangbustas. Let's go check dat thing out!"

"Look, babes! It ain't dat long! We gotta do it!"

"Oooh yay! It looks like it ends by that orange pony!"

"SHAKIN' SUGARCUBES! Ain't no way I gettin' in dat line!"

"It just keeps going! I can't even see the end of it, honey! How is anypony getting in that line?!"

Oh, they were getting in line. Tons of ponies were. And the mood in that line was grim...

"Hey, man, how long we been in this stinking line? It seems like forever and my freakin' hooves hurt from all this standing. Did you guys see that sign coming up? Wonder what it says. Hope it says 'You're almost there' or I'm gonna lose it."

"WHAT?!"

Still in a state of shock over what the sign said, the Fakies were startled by a squeaky voice behind them...

"Excoose me! Big fake pony! Yah, oo!"

"WHAT YOU WANT WITH BIG PONY?"

"Excoose me but oo must leave da line. Oo is too fat to ride da coastoo."

"WHAT?"

"Ooo is too fat. Oo is blob pony. Oo not fit on da coastoo. Stop hoggies up da line for the slim ponies. Go has a salad at one of bunny fine rebberants."

"BIG PONY TOO FAT AND THAT PONY NOT?"

"Life is tuff. I say oo fat. Ooo get out of da line or my fwiend hewe give oo fast wait loss throo losing a leggie."

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Elsewhere in the park....

"I have an idea. Let's go find some of the baby ponies working on rides and tell them we're going to help. We told the ones in the holding pen already and who knows when...or if...they'll get a chance to tell the others."

"Brilliant!"

"How about that little waif over there to start?"

"She looks so sad. Such a precious little thing shouldn't be suffering like this!"

"Pssst....hey sweetie...hey...we're here to help. We know about the others."

A pathetic little whisper came from the baby...

"Rwelly?"

"Yes, baby! You don't deserve to live in fear and we know you all are! Your friends told us everything."

"You know what? To the manure pile with waiting! We can sneak you out now. We'll keep coming back for the rest. They couldn't possibly...."

"WHAT'S GOING ON OVER HERE?"

"Listen, you big bully! We know what you're doing here and you're not going to get away with it! You make these babies act like they're happy and they're miserable. Maybe even dying!"

"All you bunnies are monsters!"

"I have no idea what you're talking about. All our workers are HAPPY."

"You tell him, sweetie! We're here for you! Tell him you hate it here!"

"I....I....I'm happy! I'm well-fed and get lots of breaks and lots of green hay grown in organic pastures! Here at Rainbowville..."

In unison the adult ponies screamed in horror...

"SHE'S BRAINWASHED!"

"You two need to beat it before I call security. Besides, we bunnies do what we bunnies need to do and you ain't gonna stop us because..."

".....we got kids to feed at home."

Interlude 2

It's almost Halloween! Ponies better not wait to get their costume or...

 they'll have to deal with the BUNNIES.

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"WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'I DIDN'T GET THE KIDS THEIR COSTUMES'?!!!!!!"

"I...I just got busy with work, and the kids didn't say what they wanted to be...and..."

"We're going to have to go see those slimy bunnies! It's not my problem if you pay out the hoof for costumes now! It's THE DAY BEFORE HALLOWEEN!!!!"

"I know...I know...let's just go get this over with. C'mon kids."

And his look-alike son pipes up "Dad! Dad! Can I be Iron Pony?!"

----------

The ponies trudge their way to the dark alley the bunnies have set up shop in....

"I TOLD YOU! ONE HUNDRED FREAKING DOLLARS!"

"Oh good GOD! They get worse every year!"

"Dad! Do they have Iron Pony? Huh? Huh?! Dad! Dad!"

"All we has is j'ghost. Ooo don't like it oo can stick it. Ooo is bad pawent if oo don't get costoom. Don't haggles wif me on price or my fwiend hewe mess oo up good."

----------

LATER...

"Dad, I can't see!"

"I'm yucky Mommy! I can't see the potty and went muffins in my costume!"

"I can see in mine but this costume sucks!"

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU 'FORGOT TO BUY TRICK OR TREAT CANDY'?!!!"

Welcome!

If you're linking here from my Facebook page, WELCOME! I've been excited to an epic degree to get this sucker up and running. Start by reading the "Prologue" post for the story behind the site and then begin the journey with "Episode 1-1." You'll find direct links to those posts and more on the right sidebar of the blog. From time to time "Interludes" will be posted which are vignettes that usually will have nothing to do with the main story...they're just there because someone thought it'd be funny if the toys went on a Wal Mart shopping spree or got into a fight over who controls the TV remote.

Episodes will be posted on at least a weekly basis. How many Episodes are there? As many as it takes to tell the saga. The problem is paring down the storylines, not a lack thereof, believe me. I've also had some celebrities insisting to be part of the tale and I'm sure they won't be pleased if they don't get a large dose of limelight.

And this site plays into a broader plan surrounding my business, Nightdrive Studio, that you'll see unfold as the year comes to a close. This is not the only site simmering on the stove right now. But it's one that needed to have the firsties crown. In a time where bad news seems to come at us faster than Iron Man falling off a very tall skyscraper, what's better to lighten the mood than talking ponies?

Enjoy! I'd love to hear your thoughts, too!

Episode 1-2

It seems like there isn't a pony alive that doesn't love the amusement park. Rainbowville is the place to go when ponies have birthdays, classes take trips, or parent ponies want to test their ability to handle hyperactive ponies devouring mass quantities of sugar....

Ponies stream into the park every day looking forward to the joys within...

..like the Ferris wheel....

...the endless array of junk food, including the park's famous "Eat Until You Explode" Twizzler buffet....

...and playing games that are physically impossible to win, lorded over by shady bunnies who seem to find glee in their failures....

..but what the ponies don't know is how they're contributing to the heartbreaking secret the park's been hiding....

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"Gosh, the workers here always look so happy. They seem really young though..."

"Oh, you know how ponyceutical facials are making everyone look so young anymore! They're probably all old codger ponies or something under all that Ponitox."

"Hah, you're probably right, but man, they could have fooled me."

"Uhh...do you know where the, uh...commode is?"

"Nature calls, eh? There's probably one around here if we look. Never really spent much time in this part of the park."

"I don't recognize this at all. Are you sure the bathroom's over here? This looks like some sort of paddock and I'm not using a field with no privacy!"

"Oh you know these places! Restrooms every ten feet! If we just keep going I'm sure we'll run into..."

"...some sort of...holding pen? What the?"

"Oh my God, where are we?"

"Holy high oats in heaven! It's a crapload of baby ponies!"

"And they don't look too good, either! What's going on here?!"

"Pleeeeease! Help us!"

"I'm so hungry!"

"I have diaper rash and it burns! Help me!"

And the baby ponies joined voices to plea for the big ponies' help...

"Please! Save us! Don't leave us!"

"I think I'm going to vomit! What are we going to do?!"

"I don't know yet, but we're going to save those babies if it's the last thing we do..."