Interlude 1

"..where the climate is cold..."

"What are you listening to over there? You've really been rocking out!"

"Nothing! I...I mean you know, just the usual, a little Gaga, a little..ah..."

"Dude, you covered up your player the second I came over here. Show me!"

"No! It's shy...I mean it's broken...I'm actually nuts and I was listening to the music in my head!"

"Riiiight! Let's just see what we have here..."

"Noooo! I think I hear a tornado siren! No time for that, we have to run! Or...or..I think I hear the UPS truck, you better go get that!"

"Hall...and....Oates?! You were rocking out to HALL AND OATES?! Oh God, I can't take this! My sides hurt! TOO. MUCH. FAIL!!!!"

"Hey, you big creep! It's not funny! They're classic and they have the word 'oat' in their name so ponies are supposed to listen to them!"

"Supposed to?! You're killing me! I need to get away from you before you mar my music tastes!"

"Oh yeah?! So what does your holier-than-thou fat butt listen to?!"

"I listen to music that is awesome, unlike you!"

"Is that so? Unngh.... let's just drag your player over here and see what's on your sacred playlist!"

"We don't need to do that! You should just take my word for it, because..."

"VANILLA ICE?!"

"YOU KNOW, HE REALLY ISN'T THAT BAD!!!"

"I gotta trot outta here before the FAIL TRAIN that is your music taste runs me over! AHAHAHA!"

Episode 1-1

There are the haves....

And the have nots...

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It's not too hard to spot the haves, but it's virtually impossible to miss the have nots in this world. A toy's gotta watch out when it comes to its company. One minute you're hanging out with the Ja-Rus and next thing you know, you're being mistaken for that Dollar Tree trash. So the cool ponies stick together. You'll see them looking lively and privileged down at the Cafe.

"Sometime I wonder if they even, like, check the mirror before they leave the stall."

"I heard they don't. I heard they're too...lacking in funds...to even have mirrors."

"........"

"Word."

"I'm so glad I'm not a Fakie!"

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And in this world, too, are the just plain corrupt...

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 Down at the salon, it's all about seeing and being seen. But only if you fit in...

These ponies know looking their best isn't an option but a requirement in today's world. Anybody who's anyone knows that. Only those other ponies seem to not care about what others think or they wouldn't look like gutter trash, right?

"Okay, like I saw that long layers are in, but I need some face-framers too, you know? Just a few."

"Oh, totally, some face-framers. I saw that like Lauren Conrad has some now. But like they have to have like this 80's vibe, you know?"

"Oh my God, everyone tells me I like look like the chick from La Roux so that would totally work!"

Honestly, she didn't think it would come down that way. She had dug through garbage cans looking for bottles to return for weeks and was filled with hope when she finally had enough to get her tangled mane combed out. Dirty forks weren't cutting it. But she hadn't thought that her kind wasn't welcome...

A faint whiff of rubbish hit the ponies' noses causing them to start looking around the salon. A collective gasp of shock was heard as the ragamuffin came into view. She was suddenly faced with a circle of haughty ponies giving their best icy glares.

"Um, we don't, like, deal with ponies like you."

"Huh? But this is a salon...I can pay for it...and what do you mean 'ponies like me'?"

"It means that you need to get out of here! You smell, you're ugly, and you're FAKE! And nobody can help that disaster on your head. You're the kind of pony that sucks the cool out of a place!"

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       She was going to make sure THAT didn't happen again. 

                 

                              ---------------                               

"I've just about had it. You ever heard of a pony snapping? Well, I'm about to snap. Go nuts. Take those banshees down. Wonder how they'd like a hoof right in the teeth?"

"Maybe you should give them a chance! Maybe they just don't understand. Maybe if they took some night classes on ponyism..."

"Look, you have hearts on your butt. I expect you to be ridiculously nice. But give me a break! Yeah, that's all they need, just some night classes. You want I should send them love letters?!"

"Dude, she's so traumatized from the hell they put her through that she's been going around with a baby pony diaper on her head for weeks. And you're telling me maybe we should give them a chance?! I'll give them a chance right in the...."

"ME STOMP ON BAD PONIES. BAD PONIES GO SPLAT!"

"Right! Sure! What a maroon! You're just going to go out there and beat them all for us, take care of the problem yourself! Can you believe him?"

"Well, maybe he can! I read this book on the power of positive thinking and..."

"Psst. I have news. Big news. Listen closely...."

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 "I'm not going. I can't. I have to hide. Maybe she'll think I left already."

 "Um, look, it's totally time for you to go to work and I can so see you. So just get up! No one is going to, like, go for you!"

 "I'm not going back there! I'm going to stay under my binkie and I am not going back there and YOU CAN'T MAKE ME and..."

"Ummm...there is totally someone coming.  Maybe it's that new dress I ordered because it's been like eons since I ordered it. It doesn't look like the delivery guy, he's not...."

 "Like oh. My. God."

                

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There are the haves....

And the have-nots....

 "I know you're hungry, I am too...but I spent the last of my money on that bale of hay yesterday, kids...this is all we have...."

Prologue

There are very few things that inspire most people to launch themselves out of bed the second the alarm rings. Remember when you would set your alarm early just to get up and start playing with that new toy again? Or the 6 a.m. cartoons that had you bright-eyed before the birds opened their beaks for the day? Yeah, and I bet there isn’t much now that inspires the same glee at the idea of waking around the time McDonald’s started serving breakfast.

Now why did a die-hard night owl kid happily fling herself out of bed at the first earliest time I could do so without causing a Mommy Meltdown over the Godforsaken hour of the day? Toys, that’s what, and all of their half-hour long commercials called cartoons. I held no prejudice when it came to playthings; whether it was a “boy toy” or a “girl toy,” if it caught my eye it was coming home with me to lead a life of shopping trips with the Ninja Turtles and My Little Ponies.

Somewhere along the way, that family of mixed toys began communicating with us via a method my Dad called “Pretend They’re Talking.” Little known facts, such as the Hugga Bunch’s hatred of honey-flavored candy and their propensity to flatulence, began to emerge. Barbies played dress-up with Skeletor. Rose Petal fought the paranormal with Egon. Laughs were had. Pants were wet. And I never forgot the day Dad gently asked if maybe I was getting a bit too old for pretend. I think that’s about the time getting up early stopped having a reason to be so fun.

Well, it’s been over twenty years since then and my imagination didn’t shut off when the world said it should, so now what? This blog answers that question.

By the way, I am no rock star with the camera and don't want to be, so expect plenty of flaws along the way in that department.